Invisible Clarity

Where have I been? I know I haven't blogged in a while. Things have been crazy busy with me. I still have an obscene amount pictures from my trip to Turkey, and then when I came back I got whisked off to my freelance gig that runs through mid April. In between that there have been parties, birthdays and everything else. Damn when did my life get so hectic? 
During all this I came to realize a few things. I also watched friendships collapse upon themselves. Shady people, and gossips and down right high school antics. Ladies please, we are no longer in high school, please act like adults! Course the mature thing would be to talk to the person rather than run your mouth, but hey whatever. I don't want your drama. I don't want to deal with your crap. I have enough of my own stuff I need to deal with than to deal with you. I am not pointing at anyone specific, I'm not naming names. I'm just stating I'm so DONE with this drama.

Its always good to know who your real friends are. The ones that will listen to you when you're freaking out, when you're crying and your awesome eyelashes are coming off cause you're crying like a retard. Friends who will come get you when you're screwed up, when your internal gut tells you something's wrong and you need to get out of there. Yes even the drunk me knows when there's danger, it goes off and calls someone. Always know who your real friends are. Shady ones aren't needed or encouraged to apply.

Needy friends, yes there's always one in a group, yeah you kinda have to feed them every so often, otherwise they'd just wilt and die. Sometimes it is overwhelming and draining to deal with them. It often reaches a point where you're wondering, why am I even friends? If it does get like that, then its time to get rid of all that negativity. Cause having all that negativity around you just gets to you after a while. 

I've come up with new motto's or sayings for myself. One of them is, just own up to it. Just own it. If you're a bitch, own up to the fact that you are a bitch, own it, embrace it, work it. No point in denying it. I mean seriously. Cmon now, now is not the time to be shy, people refer to you as bitch for a reason. Own it. 

No point in pretending to be someone you're not, no point in not owning up to who you are. 

I'm cleaning out the negativity in my life. It feels like this huge weight has been lifted off. I feel like they stopped stomping on my chest and I an breathe. It's a new feeling, strange not to feel this heaviness on me. 

I have other things to do, better things to do, like take care of me, find out who I am, travel and see what life has to offer these days, rather than deal with your drama. I've been crazy busy these days, and these people who insist on sucking up what little free time I have, well I just don't have time for it. Once you push out all that crap, you're left with the stuff you do want to do, like upload a million pictures from Turkey, or paint your toe nails, or finally get a few extra hours of sleep!

I've never understood why when you get a bunch of girls together they get catty and down right nasty to one another. Perhaps its what high school did to all of us. Perhaps its the law of the jungle, survival of the fittest. Maybe its just that when you get a bunch of girls together they turn into bitches, who knows? All I know is that I don't need it. 

I don't need your drama, I don't need your side eye, I don't need your emo whiny bs, I don't need your desperate attempts to get my attention, I don't need your soap opera style antics, I don't need anything from you. 

I'm making a break from all these things. I'm cleaning out my closet. 

My next post will about Turkey, shallowness & shopping, why living in NYC is making me cold and hard, and all that other stuff...

1 stalkers:

sophie said...

awww hunni definitely stay away from the negativity but we all have the capacity to change for the better. don't "own up" to anything, if something is wrong, fix it. God wants us all to be strivers, so strive to be better, happier and pity those who live in drama.