Put Your Hairy Sweaty Nipples Away!

Get out the way! Get out the way bitch! MOVE! Why is it when there's a sample sale it brings out the ugly in people? I really don't get it. I mean seriously. Ladies you need to calm the FUCK down! I pretty much have 0 tolerance for this stupidity now.

Fat girls. You're fat, you're not gonna squeeze into a size 2. Deal with it. Thinking that you can squeeze into a size 4, not gonna happen. Why don't you try on a dress in your size rather then stretching the hell out of the fabric? You totally stretched out my size to the size above me. I'm sure the girl who's one size bigger than me appreciates it. Course I really don't. Nor do I appreciate the fat girl that squeeze into my size stretches it out, shows off her rolls of fat and her already stretched out thong. Clothes should fit on you like a glove, not make you look like a sausage about to explode all over the place!

Accept what your size is, that way you don't feel uncomfortable when you try to squeeze back into that tiny dress and you've packed on even more pounds from all that white castle you've been eating. Yeah I went there!

There was this ANNOYING old woman there too. When I mean old, I mean OLD, not middle aged, like grandma age. She was so embarrassing! Acting like she was 15! Dressing like it too! Yes I guess when you're old, you slim down a bit. But still lady, cmon! She was going around talking to everyone who worked there, damn she's lonely and you could tell. But the interns and people working there were like cmon seriously, we have to do our jobs, and we can't be talking to you about all your run ins with Betsey. Ok this lady seriously had a crush on Betsey. Telling everyone about all her encounters. Ugh. She also then proceeded to talk about how she wears Betsey all the time, and ugh she was wearing the lingerie as a dress outside. *barfs a little* ok that was kinda gross. And she goes on about how Betsey invited her to the show room. er yeah ok. She was just trying to find a way to get into the showroom and stalk Betsey even more! God talk about creepy.

Look I'm not bashing old people, but shit, if you're not 15, please do not dress like a 15 year old. Have some fucking shame. If you work out, and do pilates/yoga and look good, then hell yeah show that off, but again you are NOT 15 and you should know better. Please try to class that shit up!

If you're wondering how I heard these pathetic conversations it was because I was looking at the jewelry table and the woman kept talking to the girl that worked there repeatedly. Even had the nerve to go am I bothering you? What is the poor girl gonna say? Yes! stop harassing me! Course not! Feel bad for that poor girl.

The prices were seriously jacked up. I mean its not really sample sale prices now is it? Sorry, I'm used it being in double digit land, not triple digit land. I'm used to paying like 50 or less for a dress. And the separates were so jacked up. $50 for separates? And sweaters? Are you crazy? Bags ranged in price, and the shoes were 75. Granted they were all evening shoes, and they were size 6 or big foot sizes. ugh. what about the rest of us? GRRR!

I was going to try on some dresses in the fitting room. I went to the one that was less crowded, but damn this stupid girl was there. News flash Cleopatra wants her look back. The heavy winged out eyeliner didn't work out well on Beyonce in her videophone video, why do you think it would look better on you? This girl was seriously annoying and I find out delusional.

She stops me from entering the dressing room, going oh its very crowded in here, just give them a second to clear out. Fine whatever. Then this girl is all like oh I can't leave, where is there an intern? Goddamnit where are the interns? Why can't I find an intern here?
You know I used to be an intern, and we don't like being treated like shit, which is exactly how you were acting! Interns are NOT here to service you. Interns were busy working the sale, putting clothes back, trying to get other sizes, cleaning up the area, folding and re-folding clothes. Taking clothes out of boxes to hang up if the stock is getting low. Shit its like they're retail sales there. And this bitch actually acts all snotty like oh i need an intern. I find out later that she's a wanna be blogger. Oh dear god. Another one of those. Just cause you have a blog does NOT make you a blogger! Why can't people understand that? Anyways, she doesn't even WORK THERE! WTF?

This girl sits down and starts giving out fashion advice, 0.o wtf? who are you? It sounded very fake. Oh that looks great on you. You don't need any adjustments. I love the color of your tattoo. Yes this girl sat there and watched as the girls were changing in and out of their dresses. Hmm, lesbo much?

She also stated that she posted the sample sale on her blog, and that "a lot" of people were gonna come because of her. That's because it was on twitter and facebook retard! And there's a mailing list too! But no your magical blog is the sole reason why there are so many people there. I'm not going to post a link to her blog because I don't want to give her any traffic at all, but this girl was goddamn annoying and fake!

Don't get me started on what I saw in the dressing room. Dear god. It never changes. Women who decide that they are going to a sample sale, need to wear a thong, a g string, see through panties, about 2 sizes too small to show off their cottage cheese asses. Then you have the older ladies who like to walk around bra less, or with a see through bra on. No one wants to see that! *throws up a little* its pretty goddamn disgusting! What's worse was the stupid asian girl that decided to move up on me in the dressing room. I'm trying on ONE dress, and she's got 30, and on top of that she's right up on me. I'm like WTF? Back off! I turn to yell at her and she's trying on the dress bra less! *ewie* I don't want your sweaty nipples on my dress or any dress! Cmon! That's just nasty! Does it make you feel sexy? Does it make you feel attractive that you can show the world your boobies? Your sweaty hairy boobies I might add rubbing up on that poor dress. Needless to say after that, I just ran out.

Goddamn there were a lot of people there. Don't these bitches work? I didn't get much at the sale, everything was so jacked up. The jewelry was only 50%. boo! Last time necklaces were like 20 or 15 dollars. some were 10. Earrings were like 10. bracelets were pretty cheap too. This time they jacked up the price. ppfft. screw that.

I walked out with a giant ring and spider pin. I saw that spider a while ago, at the outlets. I bought a necklace and earrings with that spider on a smaller scale and wanted to get the ring but never did. So i'll settle for the pin in the meantime.

This is the ring, yes its quite big, but its Betsey! 

Smaller spider on mismatched earrings I had purchased previously.

the bracelet I wore to the tea party. Yes it has a spider on it too! I bought this a while ago.

I love this necklace, and I wore it a lot during the spring and summer. yes it has a spider and a ladybug! So now the pin fits right in! I bought this at the outlet.

I'd like to say that during a sample sale, I do not look at anyone undressing, I do not want to look at anyone, and if I do, I divert eyes away quickly, as I am there to shop and see how the clothes fit on me in my CORRECT size. I do not invade anyone's personal space, I do not walk around topless drying on dresses with nipples out there. I do not wear see through undies or thongs at a sample sale. I'd like to have some shame here. My goal is to get in and out of there as fast as possible as I have other stuff to do, rather than hanging out there talking to people cause i'm old and sad. I'm not ripping on old people. I'm not ripping on fat people. Hell know your size, know your limitations and then you can go out and try to look good. Otherwise you end up looking like a sad joke.

I leave you with this.

7 stalkers:

wuzzyangel said...

LOL OMG Jen the stories you come back with when you go out! Cracks me up! Along with the visuals you give! Damn! Well at least you got out of there without getting arrested for assault! ;) Cuz seriously it sounds like a whole bunch of peeps needed some backhand action!

But you came out with cute accessories! :) Bright side right?! LOL!

wuzzyangel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tammy said...

I just can't get the image of a hairy sweaty nipple out of my head..thanks! lol I've never been to a sample sale, and now I REALLY don't want to!

Aradani said...

whoa that's a lot of crap to wade through for unsatisfactory sales. It's a shame the sale wasn't up to usual standards so that you would have more goodies to show us.
lol fantastic rant tho. If I ever catch a sample sale, I know to go in armed now.

ChyiX2 said...

I think I just threw up a little... in my mouth.

Sale from hell! Urgh, I get stressed out and hot and bothered whenever it's so crowded at sales. I can't stand it!

On another note, that spide pin is cute! I think I'm in love with it.

Violet Honeybee said...

ROFL omg that's epic!! The R & R sample sale was like that too.. *shudders.. at least there weren't a lot of fat girls there since the sizes don't run very big but I saw a couple try on pants that were WAYY too small for them.. their butt and thighs had to be pushed in their jeans.. *shudders.. nightmares..

mayaari said...

I've never been to a sample sale, and now I'm wary of ever going to one - even if you get some good deals! if i ever manage to go to one i'll know to avert my eyes while trying on clothes, lol