worst feeling ever

i've had the worst weekend ever. i've had the worst week ever. i thought on friday i'd finally cut a break, instead i found myself trying to teach a photoshop class in a class that didn't have the program. ok so i'll just make shadow puppets. i had no remote to turn on the projector. i had no marker to write on the board. at my wits end i just let things go. i made it through my class even though 3 ppl left in the afternoon. its friday so they wanted to leave early i guess. plus i explained how actions work in photoshop and they were happy.

i get an email from 2 managers asking me why my acrobat class went so bad. 2 managers. geez. then the douche prez aka new general manager wants to know why i'm doing bad too. oh and i don't have a schedule for next week. the coming week. things don't look good for me. not sure if i'll make it another few months. then after class, some guy comes up to me, he's another manger and goes its 500 for a projector bulb. and? you left the projector on. well let's see, i don't have a remote. and i'm not about to climb up on the tables in a skirt to push the button to turn it off. he goes well you should have called someone. ok, who would you like me to call? well you should have called someone, whatever, you're just taking and you don't know shit, you didn't know who to call either. fuckers. work sucks ass.

then the weekened, god i so needed to drink. the intern was like oh hey we're all going drinking the douche prez is taking us out to drink. oh yeah like i really want that, i really want to be there drunk telling him off, such a bad idea. anyways, i went drinking elsewhere.

which brings us to the other part of why my weekend sucked. i won't get into it here on this very public blog. but someone hurt me. badly. i felt my insides just dying and breaking. and at the end, i realized, it's just going to keep hurting because there's nothing i can do about it. i used to feel safe and happy around you, and now i don't. it was just so cold. it hurt. a lot. and it still hurts now. and its going to keep hurting because i'm human, and there's no other way to get around it. i'll blog about that on my other blog. simply because its not for everyone to read.

this has been the worst feeling i've had in months, and i thought i was doing ok. i'm not. i'm 30 years old and i can't get my shit together. and cause i'm a girl, i cry like every other girl out there. cause this weekend, i acted like every other girl out there, even though i'm not suppose to. we'll just say this one is a loss

4 stalkers:

chibi said...

I think it's good that you've been sending out your resume.
This workplace of yours sounds awful.
They should be put out of business.

As for getting hurt, only time can make things better.
Keep crying, it will make you feel better.
But don't let the crying consume you.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

M said...

(( HUG )) if i knew where to locate you in the city i'd deliver you ice cream

wuzzyangel said...

I'm sorry you had such a bad week, and a shittier weekend! *HUGS*

Well your job is dumb, the people in it anyway. You can't be blamed for THEM not providing you with the adequate resources needed to teach the class! And like I said. I know you'll find something better.

As for the getting hurt... IDK what it's about, but I'm sorry you had to got through that. In time I hope you feel better. And to the person who hurt you... Shame on them.

mayaari said...

it's good that you started sending out your resume earlier - from the sound of things at work, things are just going to get worse. Just try not to let it get to you - cause it's not worth the time, they're just asshats that want to point the blame on someone else to save their ass from getting in trouble.

I don't know what happened with the other person hurting you - but I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that. I can only hope that you'll hurt less over time - and if there's anything I can do to help, let me know. I can....bake you brownies, or make a lasagna, orrrr make you something sparkly to wear :) you can vent this weekend over korean bbq, at least about all the work crap!