Ok so some girls are going ga ga over this movie. some girls are like whatever. I for one am desperately trying to get over this crappy writer's block. went to go see it. i will say it is amazingly cheesy. christ. i mean cmon! ok ok, i'm sure the book is like way better and the movie had to condense everything down. fine. i will admit that i did read the first chapter of new moon and eclipse as a pdf, to get a sense of her writing style. she doesn't suck, she doesn't use big words either, i can see why teenage and tweens love reading this. god who wouldn't want to get bitten by a young,hot sexy vamp? kinda like buffy but less cliche you know? Anyways, watching it did remind me of what it was like to be madly in love, to feel unconditional love, where you gave your heart to someone and you knew they loved you back unconditionally. that they saw past all your flaws and saw you and accepted you. fuck i miss that. i miss that unconditional love. i miss knowing that the warm body next to you when you wake is the one that will love you when you're old and wrinkled. i miss that feeling of butterflies, and giddy school girl stupidness. fuck i miss it all, and i'm starting to realize that who ever it is i'm suppose to be with. that will take me for who i am, is not here anymore. and that person is elsewhere while i'm stuck here, trying to get out. sometimes i wish i was a teenager again so i could go be a screwup and it would be ok.
my depressive mood should spark something to write right? fuck i am so lame as i haven't written anything cohesive.
went to a baby shower and felt amazingly old. drank some champagne fruit punch thing that was completely watered down, as I was clearly sober when the screaming brats were around. I am so fucking old, and too old to be doing this. i don't have the patience for kids at all. one kid was so bratty, his behavior was atrocious and i wanted to go over to his fat blonde mom and ask her if her son was retarded, because the way he was acting it was the ONLY logical explanation for his behavior. screaming and yelling, moaning, pulling on designer handbag handles cause he thought it was ok. pushing his stroller around the restaurant, pulling the balloons and getting them stuck on the chandelier light, yes and then pulling it to the point where it could have fallen, all the while that fat lazy blonde bitch sat there and stared into space. are you medicated or just retarded too? cause you clearly shouldn't be breeding. i won't get to how he basically needed to be the focus of attention during the present opening, or how he started opening presents for himself and then taking the toys and clothes and pulling on them and throwing them around. and his fat lazy mom was standing there going, no stop, and doing NOTHING. BRAT! then the stupid fucking retarded kid starts pushing his stroller around again and rams me with it! WTF?! i looked over and his stupid mom is fucking retarded and just goes oh sorry, and lets him continue pushing around. this kid had to be retarded. once that brat left, everything calmed down, and the other kids that were left weren't screaming being that the retard kid was the one riling them all up. I seriously had NO patience for this shit. we are not your day care center lady, you have a kid, take care of it! i swear if i see that fat lazy blonde bitch again i'm gonna ask her if her kid is retarded, cause that is the only explanation for his behavior, other than her being a fucking brat!
i'm gonna try to read the twilight series now, all i'm producing is angst but i have no real content. sucks right?
meanwhile my ferret is climbing on 10 years now. damn she's old isn't she? she outlived the dog that the ppl who had her originally replaced her with. the dog died, and my ferret is alive and kicking! Go Eve!