Why so Serious!?

Ok ladies...here it is. I never talk about my personal life, minus the rabid ranting i do, the stupidness that i encounter, but i never really talk about me. and in truth this is just a blog where i post stupid crap i buy, and haul along, because in this capitalist, materialist society we live in we are taught stuff = happiness.

With the upcoming election, talk of healthcare and the economy, I never really realized what it all meant. Until now. Mind you i'm the biggest screw up there is. cmon i'm freelancing making ugly websites for people and i can't get a stable 9-5 job. it seems like most people can't now. sadly i can't collect unemployment. before i was a student, and ppl went oh that's great, educating yourself and bettering yourself, what are you studying? now its like what are you? unemployed it seems, before saying you were a student was better. sigh.

my so lost his job. he had been there 8 years. the longest anyone has been in that company minus the boss and owner. apparently that meant nothing. they laid off half the office, the other half got a huge pay cut. not sure which one is worse? anyways in the midst of all this, certain things became frivolous and certain things had to be come more important. surviving.

that's why i am liquidating my make up and other crap. i've got samples from all over that i can live off of. but then i have stuff that i used once, or haven't opened that just sit there, so wasteful i know. time to get rid of it and make some space. that was me shamelessly promoting my wares. i should also say i accept donations now too, but i'm not at that point yet. though i did look at my closet as i packed up my clothes to go to my mom's house, and there i saw all my beautiful betsey johnson and anna sui dresses. all happy in their dress bags, unaware of what would happen next. As i packed up my things, (no don't ask why, we're not getting into that now) i realized i could have opened up a store with all these goddamn dresses. all these beautiful, whimsical, feminine, girly, i'm a goddamn cake dresses, i looked at them and that's all they were. dresses. each one had a story, i got this one at this sample sale. i got this one for free when i worked there. this one was the last night of this dress that sold out that season. this was the first silk anna sui dress i got years ago, and it still looks as good as it did back then. this marc jacobs shirt was lost in my closet but now that i've found it, what am i going to do with it now?

I am without a doubt unable to pay my student loans which are about 1K a month. this is the part where i go goddamn i am royally screwed. before i was sorta floating on the river bank, avoiding the rocks. now i'm on a rickety raft, with holes and trying to stay afloat.

i knew this girl who was getting married, she too got laid off. her fiance got a huge paycut at the law firm he was at. She told me that she was postponing the wedding. i felt really bad for, and i figured suggesting eloping would have been bad. but you want happiness right?

i'm over my txting on my cell phone. i've txted a lot outside my at&t/cingular network which is unlimited, hence why my phone bill is way expensive. sigh. i am so screwed. i need to lower my plan a lot. no more txting. anyone on at&t feel free to txt me as much as you want. its free. everyone else, sorry. call me instead. i have a ton of roll over minutes oddly enough.

Halloween was a disaster. it has been the worst halloween ever. the day after, was better, but still. now that' its fall and getting colder, i can only wonder how we will all get through this. i can only wonder what tomorrow will be like now. will i just end up temping again like i did years ago? pushing paper around for a bunch of assholes? maybe.

7 stalkers:

SUGABUM said...

Yea, the economy is fucking up people's lives left and right. I'm sorry to hear about your guy losing his job. I know what you mean about how it feels better to say you're a student. I haven't had a job since I graduated, either, and I feel like such a fucking loser. I hate it when people continually ask me, "so what have you been doing?" It makes me remind myself what a loser I am whenever I have to say NOTHINGGGG. And when my money started to run dry, I would look back at my bank statements and think to myself, how the hell did I spend so much money on stupid crap? I could have spent that money on something useful. Whatever useful means... I'm going to downgrade my phone plan as well, but I have to wait until March when my contract is over. Shit fucking sucks. I feel ya, girl. Like you, I want to get my life back on track, but I don't want to be fucking working for minimum wage at some shitty job. I'd rather stay home. But maybe we have no choice at this point? =(

Anonymous said...

awwwwwwwwww hun, I wish I could take you out for dinner and drinks and a night of Californication. Times are rough at the moment and I don't have a j-o-b either... I'm with you girl....

missxxmai said...

stumbled across your blog..

but i feel you on our fcuked up economy! everyone is struggling, well most of us. out economy is seriously in a big hole and it's effecting any and everyone. people are now going from living the luxury life to living off of paycheck to paycheck. i haven't bought makeup for 3 weeks now (lol)! sucks that we can't really even do anything about our sucky ass economy.

sorry to hear about the man losing the job. and everything going on with you. shit sucks. we'll all get through it. it's gonna get worst before it gets better, but it will get better!

MakeupByRenRen said...

it's rough out there...i know people who have been laid off too, that's why i'm afraid to leave my corporate job even though it's sooo not me...sell that makeup girl, people on here will buy

Aprecia said...

i know what ur feelings. Im still in school but soon enough im prolly gonna be unemployed. I feel like i have no future sometimes..... Reading this just made me feel even more depress

Jaclyn Rose said...

girl!!! i feel ya! When I lost my job at PC Club and a month later found out I was pregnant with my 3rd, girl, I was like, how in the hell are we gonna survive?!?!

I'm still looking for a job now! I'm at that point right now where I feel useless because I'm not bringing in any money and it does not help that I've been spending money like stupid in the last years when I should have been saving for times like these. I think that's our downfall, we tend to forget to save and always live in the moment and spend our money like crazy.

Keep your head up, something will surely turn up.

Russian Fortune Cookie said...

I get that exact same feeling everytime I look at my makeup collection, hah. Sure makes me wish I saved all my money from my stripping days...

Eh. You live, you learn. I've gotten pretty good about keeping my spending in check. I going to REALLY have to think about whether or not I really *need* all the stuff I currently have in my Sephora shopping basket that's waiting for the Friends and Family Sale. (Currently leaning towards....yes.)

Reading through the MUA Boards about hauls and the latest sales and stuff like that though... whoa. I'm amazed people still have so much money to spend!