woman dr creepiness & stupidness

oh you know it wouldn't be complete without your trip to the woman dr, afterall ladies, you gotta see the woman dr, so she can make you wear that paper dress and look up at the ceiling while she takes samples and talks to you about various woman things. like when was the last time you had sex. what form of protection do you use. do you notice a unusual discharge? i think the best thing ever was during her course of asking questions was do you notice an odor down there? is it like fishy or garbage? I'm like WTF? who walks around with a garbage smelling cooch?! i think that just woke me up out of the monotone questions that we've come to expect. that one was a new one. she also explained to me why insurance companies suck ass. i told her my insurance was being retarded and sucking and wasn't covering my birth control anymore. that they were calling it a luxury item. wtf? how is it a luxury that i'm regular and i don't get pregnant so then you stupid insurance company would have to cover the baby and everything else that happens to me for the next 9 months? stupid insurance. the woman dr wise beyond her years, told me, see they do this so that you use condoms instead of the pill.

and guess what? insurance doesn't have to cover condoms, that's YOUR responsibility. wtf is that? and in the winter months i get sick and sometimes though i don't anymore have to get anitbodies, i have to tell my dr to write an generic one so my insurance does cover it!

the woman dr gave me a new rx for birth control bc ortho tricyclen low doesn't have a generic form! NOOO! but the normal ortho tricyclen has a generic form, course i was on it before, and it was ok, but the woman dr was telling me yeah women report more PMS while on it, great just great. i asked her what would happen if i switched. she said well lots of things could happen when ur on a new birth control pill. like breast pain, spotting bleeding, cramps, etc. WTF? Damn you drug company! Damn you insurance company! She also said that the first 3 months are gonna suck, cause your body is getting used to it,and it would take about 6 months to fully know if its working! goddamn you insurance! *waves fist in air* wait till your daughter gets pregnant by her idiot teenage bf and wonder why you didn't give her birth control! *throws bag of flaming poo*

one thing that did royally creep me out was the amount of guys in the waiting area at the woman dr. Normally I don't see any, but this time it was like 4 guys in there! wtf?! I was like why is it so crowded here? One guy was there when i got in, and then was still there when i left, which totally left me wondering wtf was he doing there. Maybe he was waiting for someone who was doing a LONG procedure right? i mean an exam must take hours. pervy! then there was this skeevy white guy with an asian chick, suki, who apparently had a HUGE fetish. I was like ewie! skeevy guy! ewie! course he was all happy when she got her rx for birth control, yay i can hit it without condoms on! is wear that's the one thing guys seem to love. no rubbers. (californication reference there) then there was this other skeevy guy with a latino girl who loved stomping around in her new boots. i was wondering why guys wait with their female friends there. I mean is it to confirm that they are or aren't pregnant?

is it to confirm whatever it was that you gave me you have it too now go get the drugs to fix it? i know i sound so wrong saying all these things. but honestly when i go to the woman dr, i'd like to be alone, with other women in a pink waiting room. that's me personally. i don't know how many guys are ok with waiting for their gfs at the woman dr, while they're being poked and prodded. i'm just glad my woman dr is thorough and gets it over with quickly. instruments are always cold though. sigh.

After being violated by the woman dr, i ran around some more, and then had a meeting with the opera ppl about the website yet again. after changing it again to their specifications, they decided to do another overhaul which was like WTF? yeah its easy to design a webpage in photoshop when u have NO idea wtf is going on, with no concept of global navigation, or why you don't put a search bar hidden in subpages. anyways annoyed. the guy shows up 30 min late! and then shows me these new changes like wtf? are u retarded? then he has the nerve to make fun of the current site saying it looks boxy. WTF? Did I design it this way? NO! You guys took what I made and butchered it saying you wanted less and less and you wanted pictures there which I did! WTF? I won't get into how i explained to them how wordpress worked, or the fact that if you want to put pictures in the sidebar it will show up on every single page after! then he has the nerve to go i didn't know you put so much effort into the initial site. all the graphics i made, yeah i did that in about a min. he then had the nerve to go i want to know your design opinion on it. kept pressuring me to say something, like wtf? then gets mad when i tell him that i personally would not have the site like this, then his wife comes in! omfg just because you took a pottery class and went to a photo expo does not make you a designer or artist!

they made a crack about how when artists create something its not functional! Pfft! he totally pressured me to answer and then got defensive and tried to rip into me right after i said anything. it was like wtf?! pissed me off so much, i had to restrain myself from saying STFU!!! I'm the fucking designer! ME! Not you! you want a site like the met opera site! then go fucking pay for it! you know why the met has a flash slide show that looks better and changes weekly? They have someone change it every fucking week! U gonna pay me to do that?! No! So STFU and let me do my thing! GOddamnit! I am the one that knows how the web works and god I fucking know the search bar goes on the front of the page, and not hidden somewhere, I know you need a fucking home button so users can get to the main page! I know that you can't just fucking put shit wherever you want, you have to make it functional! And the fact that you're using TOO MUCH fucking blue on the site!!!! And you don't fucking put random pictures of trees and nyc when you're a fucking opera site! yes OPERA site not a tree site! not a nyc city site! fucktards! how the fuck did this drag on? i'm gonna build it and be done!


anyways i'm trying to get tix to see american buffalo, a play by david mamet one of my fave playwrights. back in my undergrad i was a theater major, STFU i hear jokes already! i did acting for about 2 semesters, and quickly realized i didn't want to do that, the whole i'm gonna be on stage in my underwear doing a love scene is where i drew the line. it was a scene from danny and the deep blue sea. great play. he also wrote edmond, amazing play. I also did scene work from it, poor me, gets picked up at the bar, used in the bedroom, then horribly killed, yeah i get the good stuff don't i? for that i wasn't in my underwear, well mostly not. i really like mamet, some ppl find his work misogynist, sexist, and he curses like crazy. he also uses some racist terms, but overall he's not being racist, he's showing the downfall and hopelessness of life and the crushing of hopes and dreams. its awesomely dark!

have a great weekend.

that's the scene i had to do during undegrad. no i'm not julia stiles, but i got stabbed and screamed and when he pushed me to the floor to kill me, he really pushed me and bruised me up good. oh suffering for art!

7 stalkers:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE the huge condom pic....I was dying...too funny

Jaclyn Rose said...

since you wrote about the woman dr., have you been to one that's male? if so, did you feel uncomfortable? or if not, would you feel uncomfortable? What if he was an old man or what if he was a hot doc? Why do men get into that field of medicine? I have always wondered. just a thought i had in my head and thought I'd share with you.

Russian Fortune Cookie said...

I've never really been to a gynecologist before O_o

Well, the only time was when I was at the clinic for my abortion, but I don't remember ANY of that at all.

My birth control was always handled at Planned Parenthood by a physician's assistant or a nurse practitioner.

Fei said...

I've never been inspected down there. Once I was scheduled for one, because I thought why the heck not... I need more bc anyway. But I was on my period. I don't REALLY want another person on this Earth to see my stuff anyway.

I need to change my FB settings. It's being a biotch and won't let anyone find me, e-mail or not.

Russian Fortune Cookie said...

Well, I'm a broke-ass college student, but I think Planned Parenthood has a sliding scale depending on how much you can pay. I was on Ortho Tri-Cylen Lo (that's what they give out as their standard prescription) and I picked it up for $25/mo from the clinic. My insurance covers my birth control, so I got them to write me a prescription because it was cheaper for me to get it at the pharmacy ($10/mo copay.)

Fei said...

At last... We're friends! Pending your approval. :p

MakeupByRenRen said...

uhhh that reminds me i gotta make an appointment,lol