that kind of love

i miss that feeling, that feeling of undeniable, unrelenting, undying love. i miss how it used to make me feel, how it would just feed my emotional needs enough that i could go on no matter how shitty the day was. i really do miss it. the kind of love that didn't come with restraints, conditions, pre-requesists, where you could love and be love. freely and openly. i do miss it. i miss how it felt, i miss how it made me feel. sometimes we an only hope to find it.

after reading all the blogs from the lovely ladies out there, it made me realize, how i miss that kind of love. how missing someone cause they're not there, that intense emotion that just binds you to a person. i miss it all.

look its Gwen! i <3 gwen, even from back in the day where she was jumping around in track pants, doc martins, tank tops with sequins on the bra straps and that bindi dot. she and tony were dating and he broke up with her, where she was heartbroken and devastated, but hell she created tragic kingdom, and some pretty happy tunes. i have to say that was one of their best albums. (damn girl can wear whatever and rock the look and look hot!) she met Gavin and after a really long relationship of ups and downs, of return to saturn, and rock steady, she married her man, twice and had his baby twice. plus she makes a ga zillion dollars now.

i bet tony wonders geez did i do the right thing? who knows, all i know is that i'm feeling like gwen, minus gavin, and the gazillion dollars, right now i'm in that phase of where I should be writing this amazing opus of tragic kingdom and i've got writer's block, i've had writer's block for a year now. shit sucks.

i'm hoping that at some point, this will go away, i'll find my british hottie gavin and things will fall into place. maybe i'll have an awesome fashion line and perfume line, and japanese girls dancing behind me. ok that was a bit of a stretch. not sure what it is i'm suppose to do in life. not sure of anything. just that i'm in that phase where tony left, and i'm suppose to write tragic kingdom and wear a red vinyl dress, but neither of which is happening.

sigh i miss being in love. that intense passionate unrelenting never giving up and never dying kind of love. i miss the feeling of it.

2 stalkers:

Anonymous said...

I'll be ur Japanese backup dancer anytime girl! Love is tough, and real love is hard to find.... I LOVE GWEN TOO!!! LOVE HER! I think I would marry her....haha It'll come to you one day, and u won 't know what hit u... :) I love you! :)

MakeupByRenRen said...

awww will happen for you...i know it's cheesy, but it will happen when you're not looking...that's how it worked for me!