cruising to bermuda

you're all wondering wtf happened right? i got on a huge freaking boat to go to bermuda. I have to say norwegian is freaking crazy anal about being clean, they sprayed my hands with that antibacterial stuff before i got on the boat, and around the food areas there were globes filled with the stuff that you should use before eating, and another one next to the plates and restaurants.

anyways i got seasick, course i did, i got sick the last time, the first 3 days were kinda blah, wore the wristbands and had to take the drugs. not very fun. but bearable.

omg the boat is moving! omg get me off this thing!

still in nyc weather but that doesn't stop ppl from drinking 6 beers and being stupid now does it?

omfg i have NEVER ever in my life ever seen that many fat ppl. and when i say fat, i mean FAT, like you take 2 Roseanne bar's and then maybe throw in another one. I never knew the human body could stretch out that much, that cottage cheese could spread to the rest of your body, and that you would still live. my god. i don't know how they were able to breathe or smoke or drink or eat at that size. i mean how do you let yourself get like that?! It was completely beyond unhealthy, AND they were in swimsuits. *shudders* what was worse was the entire family was like that, fat FAT FAT! some kid was fat and had bigger boobs than me! ok that's not saying a whole lot, but he had serious boobs there, tube sock boobs, but still, as a parent how the hell do you let your kid get that fat? your son has tits! He was already a B cup, and at his current rate he would been a C by xmas.

I've never seen that many old decrepit ppl either! omg, barely able to move, have to be wheeled around or struggling to move with their strollers with seats. my god! and you want to be on a cruise? i'm surprised you're still alive at this point!

None of these ppl should have been in bathing suits, seriously. not to say i'm gisele in a bikini, but hell cmon. decency ppl! i saw a ton of varicose veins all over legs, and i mean it was purple all over cottage cheese legs, asses, etc. It made me want to hit the 24 hour gym they had there.

and bratty kids? omg, you'd think it being school that the parents wouldn't bring their kids, now why wouldn't they? they yanked their kids out of school to go on a cruise. they were loud, bratty, whiny, and annoying. there was this one annoying bratty ginger kid that seriously needed to be slapped a few times. that and the fact on how the f*ck does a 7 year old have a pot belly, rather a gut?! Wtf are you feeding her? fries and oil? i saw a ton of FAT ppl drinking light beer. that's really not gonna help you.

the point of me going on about this, is that this is middlefuck america here. and i realize that these idiots from middle fuck america are the same idiots that are voting for president, to which i went, OMFG, these FAT, gross, lazy, dirty, gorge yourself and eat 40x a day, cottage cheese bastards are gonna vote for president? i say this cause over the course of the cruise i realized just how different middle fuck america is from nyc. i guess here in the city or in major cities, we're a little bit more educated, less fat, less stupid, and less closed minded. the stuff i heard, i mean are you serious? Ladies, please go out and vote!

i won't tell you about the 40 year old nurse with galloons of cottage cheese that was gonna flash everyone with her mash potato boobs, or the 45+ year woman from philly who was gonna get into the hot tub but announced that she wasn't wearing panties, meanwhile her 22 year old daughter was dying of embarrassment. this isn't spring break! you're a grown woman, plz, if your daughter isn't about to do that, you should not do that! i understand that yes cruises are where ppl relax, and have fun, but cmon this isn't girls gone wild for old ppl. nor is it a race to eat the most or be the dirtiest as possible. i felt so bad for the crew, these ppl were beyond disgusting and dirty. like cmon seriously...

most of the crew were flip, and now middle fuck america is gonna think that flips are the ones that work on the boat and that's all they do. meanwhile they'll think ikea runs the boat, cause the captain was swedish, along with his engineer group. ppl can be amazingly ignorant, ppl saying oh flips like to clean, or they like working in the galley. WTF? i seriously think that the cruise boat went and kidnapped the flips from the island and enslaved them, cause over 60% of the crew was flip. but they were laughing and joking and having fun, and they got to go ashore and have fun.

i'll post more pics, did a bunch of stuff, went to the pink sand beaches, and i smuggled sand back! yes i did! *evil laughter* some retards filled an entire water bottle with the pink sand and they couldn't bring it back, hee hee, i was smarter and didn't smuggle that much back and got it through!

my first drink was in honor of you ladies. they nickel and dime you for everything on the boat, to drink soda was $50 for the week. i didn't drink soda that week which is a good thing considering all the food that was there. food coma!

this is jimmy from the philippines. he's making an ice sculpture, he does this really freaking fast. and u can see the evil ginger in the pool that kept trying to get out of the pool and touch his ice. brat!

we hit a lot of waves on the way there, course i think it was really a whale

and then on the 3rd sea day, where we're almost getting to bermuda, they tell us oh yeah btw some passenger has a "medical" emergency and we turned the ship around so the coast guard can get her dumb ass. to which everyone went WTF?! they were going full speed, everything was being thrown around, i was back on the wristbands and drugs which didn't help. ppl were like wtf? the bitch better be DYING! she got lifted into a helicopter and the boat turned around and went full speed again back to bermuda. we got to bermuda as scheduled, but they burned a ton of fuel, ran over a bunch of whales and that lady has a HUGE bill.

damn ethereal you're so mean, maybe she really was dying. fat ppl can't help themselves, its a genetic thing. SHUDDA UP! that many ppl can't have a genetic thing. they're fat cause they're eating 40x a day, and drinking 6 beers while at the pool doesn't help. bermuda is a british territory, i pretty much trust a british doctor over the ones we have here that go to the med school of guam. and being that we were almost at bermuda i would have opted for that, rather than turn the boat around and go back to the us, kinda dramatic in a way.

more pics, more food, more everything coming up in the next couple of post. pic intensive. and yes i got a tan!

5 stalkers:

Vanessa said...

OMG. That is a tight cruise! I have NEVER been on a boat. EVER. Not even a damn canoe. Crazy huh. WTH am I sheltered??? HAHA.

I have Twitter my retarded self didn't know how it works hahaha so I finally added it to my blogger...aiya I am SO living under a rock!

Did you see the new MACBooks???

MakeupByRenRen said...

LOL we flips run those cruises...and everytime i go they always try to talk to me as if i know how to speak the language...i think you need to go on a cruise during high season cuz that's when young ppl go

ChyiX2 said...

I've always wanted to go on a cruise, a real one, not one of those two day return Copenhagen- Oslo ones.

And eew at obasan lady wanting to go bottom-less. That's just plain nasty! Oh, and check out for why he thinks tere are so many obese people in the states XD

ChyiX2 said...

I've always wanted to go on a cruise, a real one, not one of those two day return Copenhagen- Oslo ones.

And eew at obasan lady wanting to go bottom-less. That's just plain nasty! Oh, and check out for why he thinks tere are so many obese people in the states XD

xppinkx said...


all cruises are filled with old rotting people and fat ass hicks with fat inbred children!!!

The cruise is mainly for the fat hence 24 hours buffets...the pool is a cest pool of germs mainly for a urinal for kids who are to lazy to walk to the other side of the really think salt water is warm????....and then there are young couples who just realise they are married and are at the bar 24/7...then there is you...soaking all this shit your big hat with a drink...enjoying the sun like a nice woman you are....