I had a really bad day, i mean seriously, one where nothing goes your way and I'm seriously pissed off and stressed and just want to pick up and go already. my alarm doesn't go off, i completely oversleep which sucks. i rush around have an argument that has no point, head back to queens because i have to check on Eve my ferret. the 4 train is royally retarded, chilled in the tunnel while i had to wait. got off at union square to jump on the N or W train so I could get on the 7 train back. that fucking took forever. i get back there and she's sleeping and chilling, refill her food, and give her some treats, grab some stuff like the ipod connection wire, my camera charger, some more clothes and a few other things, needless to say the bag got heavy. that and the fact that i couldn't find some stuff cause someone who loves to organize really doesn't organize and stuff goes missing. i totally forgot my ds there. sigh. i take the godforsaken train again back, while dragging this heavy bag. dumbfucks on the train again. i got on the N train and some weirdo lady be checking me out, no i don't swing that way so plz stop staring creepo. Get off at union square cause I have to take the W or R to rector street. (yes that sounded dirty) but dumbfucks at union square are all retarded. fucking tourists grazing along, this stupid indian family was standing there blocking my way onto the R train. Fucking pissed me off, if you're confused here's a thought don't fucking stand infront of the door where ppl are trying to get on and off the train, what you don't have trains in your country? what's worse is that i race in to try to catch the train and the fucking door closes on my forearm and elbow and handbag. !@#$% stupid shit! the door is crushing my arm, meanwhile all the dumbfucks on the train are looking at me, not saying anything and or helping me. the fucking conductor is taking his sweet ass time opening the door, what he had to go flirt with some girl he saw in the station? needless to say my arm was completely dirty and sore, and in pain from it. and yes the dumbfucks on the train were staring still and i was ready to kill someone at that point, you don't help me, don't ask me if i'm ok, and just stare. WTF is wrong with the assholes that live here? i wiped my arm and saw that it was red and gonna bruise. fuckers. i had to carry my bag past ground 0 where all the idiot tourists were again, i'm at this point where i'm just gonna start shoving them out of the way.
when i got back i put a cold bottle of soda on my arm. it was bruising. i took pics of course. then decided i would sue the mta for being such bastards and for a conductor who was chilling, shit what if i was a child? what if i had a 4 year old arm and the door closed on it and snapped it off? or caused permanent bone damage? geez did you have to flirt with that skank? had another argument. not really, more like surrender. some things end, and some things aren't worth hanging onto. i haven't decided which one this is. some friendships/relationships end and there's nothing you can do about it. and for months i tried to save it, bc i thought it was worth saving. and it just fucking bit me in my ass and gave me rabies. it crushed me inside where i just shut off and realized that i had wasted all my time. time i could have spend doing other things. when things end its never pretty. some people are meant to be in your life and others are just mean to keep walking in and walking out of it, because leaving is what they do best.
the goddamn freelance i'm working on is turning into shit. they weren't clear and i'm getting conflicting info about layout and design. i'm pissed off. i'm pissed off cause my work is too colorful, and i need to tone it down, that its not serious enough or too playful or other BS. i'm pissed off cause some punk wants to rip off a website and thinks its cool, but has NO understanding of flash or information architecture. now i'm stressed and trying to make a new layout and build this site within the time allotted.
i'm really fucking tired, and stressed. meanwhile my other friend asks if i want to hang out with her and my other friend tom or friday. geez, tom's a little short notice. and no offense but i really don't want to be hanging out with her at her house watching her man drink beer and watch sports esp on a friday night. i'd rather be killing my brain cells elsewhere in a beer forest or kingdom. anyways she totally didn't comprehend just how far downtown i was, i was repeating this to her, that i was next to ground zero. and that for me to travel to queens well its a long way and she told me that dinner wouldn't be till 9pm! ridiculous! i told her to move it as i wouldn't make it, course she absolutely insisted on tom. then at the end she was like oh yeah i'm not sure if the other girl can come! flabbergasted i decided to just end the conversation. i had to redo a layout for the freelance and was getting pissed off at someone telling me what i should and shouldn't do.
overall i'm stressed, i'm pissed, i'm bruised, i'm tired, and i want this day to be over. and for a little break in between i managed to find myself in a travel agency, asking about vegas. i so want to escape. i want to get out of here. i'm starting to feel like there's nothing really here for me and i should go elsewhere.
with whatever money i get from this freelance i think i'm gonna get out of here for a while. i think i'm just gonna go, not check emails, and drop my phone in the toilet and leave it there. i'll call my mom to see if anything happened once a week and just go. i seriously need a break.
(note the day i'm talking about is now yesterday...monday a crappy way to start off the week)
FOTD: Bedroom eyes
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