and they say you can't ever go home again, in a way its true. When i went back home after my first year of college i was clearly a different person. i'm not sure what it was, but i wasn't the same person I was in high school, which I'm not sure if it was a good or bad thing.
So I'm at my mom's house now, things are nice and quiet. calm and peaceful. no loudness, no staring, no tv at the loudest volume or bratty kids screaming down the hall, no nosy neighbors looking at your mailbox or idiots pouring powder bleach into the liquid bleach slot in the laundry room. Sometimes I wish I was home, at my mom's house, before things got complicated.
Sometimes I wish, life was simpler and easier. I look back and realize things were easier and simpler. I kinda miss it, and yet at the same time I know it'll never really exist here for me again.
Funny how life turns out. Funny how things change so quickly you don't even realize it, and how when you look back from your current situation, that things were really simple and easy back then, and now things are so goddamn complicated.
Sometimes I wonder if going to grad school was a good idea. i'm 60K in debt cause of it. but then I have to remind myself of what I would have ended up if I had stayed. In some shitty job with a bunch of backstabber, fake silicone,step on you to get a promotion, over zealous, uber conservative, religious freaks that are just waiting to screw you over every chance they get, and I haven't even started on the lawyers yet. I had to get out of there, but I wonder if school was the only option for me.
Anywyas, I'm glad that I got a little escape from it, a break from being there. I wish I could go back and live with mom and dad and take the ferret back here and live the life I used to live. I wish that things could go back to what they were 3 years ago. I wish I hadn't taken everything for granted...
You can never go home again, but I'm sure as hell gonna try...