brassière or harness

Oh those crazy French! The word brassière derives from bracière, an Old French word meaning "arm protector" and referring to military uniforms (bras in French means "arm") Who says the internet isn't full of knowledge!

It is said a man created the bra, yes only a man would think of such a contraption, much like a thong and stiletto heels, no woman would go oh yeah, i want to walk around with a constant wedgie on my tippy toes causing much needed callouses, ingrown toenails, and knocking my spine out of alignment. Digressing again.

I think everyone knows how a bra works and the basic functions of it.

this is the "bra fence" in New Zealand...looks like they got more than kiwis there!

The backstrap (underband) and cups should provide most of the support, rather than the shoulder straps, which are responsible for a number of health problems
When viewed from the side, the underband that runs around the body should be horizontal, should not ride up the back, and should be firm but comfortable.
The underwires at the front should lie flat against the sternum (not the breast), along the infra-mammary fold, and should not dig in to the chest or the breasts, rub or poke out at the front.
The breasts should be enclosed by the cups and there should be a smooth line where the fabric at the top of the cup ends.
There should not be a ridge or any bulging over the top or sides of the cups, even with a low-cut style such as the balconette bra.

Most women are wearing the wrong bra size. So its good to get fitted. VS is very mainstream and I like to go to smaller stores who give you more attention and answer your questions rather than trying to get a quick buck, or make you open up a store credit card. Intimacy, there's one in NYC helps you find the right size for you and all your needs. you gotta make an appt.

Since I got my VS order yesterday I decided to talk about bras. hee hee. I can't think of a witty analogy of bewbies like I did with the lawn right now. (side note I got waxed today, my eastern european waxer had me done in under 10 min. damn she's fast and good! And I'm feeling lighter and ready to wear a bikini again! well not exactly again) Actually I thought of one. The bra is like a picture frame around the picture. Now you need a good frame to hold and support the picture, to make sure that the focus is on the picture, you have a crappy frame and damn your picture looks like shit. Ok I think that works.

So i ordered a few things that were on sale, yay semi annual sale, yeah for codes to get $10, free shipping and free stuff, I can't stand to deal with real people in the damn store holding up the line and crap, esp with their screaming kids and ugly bf/husbands.

I ordered their new Bio-Fit bra, that they're all hyping up. I got the one on sale for 19.99 in a nice bright magenta pink color. They're marketing it as a super awesome bra that's made to your body. Pfft...I'm an A, sadly, I'm still waiting for puberty...and I need a little help in that area. I need a really BIG frame ok, well not a HUGE one, but a decent one that won't make the painting look so small. I tried it on, it had the damn underwire, and it had some padding, it and was comfy. The fabric was soft and stretchy, I didn't feel like i couldn't breathe, the bottom of the band was covered in fabric, but there wasn't enough padding in my honest opinion. I need a little help ok. And compared to their Very Sexy bra, which I love cause it helps me out, it really didn't cut it.

I also got the infinity edge wireless. Yeah I kinda don't like the wire cause after a while u feel it in your skin. Not too fond it of. I liked that there wasn't a wire, hell it felt damn comfy like a sports bra, yes ladies you need to get one of those if you're going to workout, Here's a site to watch what happens, i'm sure you've all seen it and been amused. The only thing that was sad was there wasn't any padding, or "lift" yes I need that ok? Its comfy but its m ore for like lounging around I guess. not the nice bra you wear when you go out for drinks with your gfs and you're out on the prowl...

Let's go over the different bras out there. There are a lot aren't they? I'm sure most of you know what they are but here we go.

pushup - duh, ur bewbies are pushed, lifted up to enhance and create cleavage. the padding is typically under your bewbie, which is different from a padded bra.

padded - padding in the lining all around, no need to feel stingy right? They support your bewbies and not necessarily lift them, but now a days they combine the two together.

demi cup bra. A demi cup bra covers only half the breasts, with its cups coming up above the nipples. This bra is suitable to wear with clothes that have plunging necklines. It is supportive, yet provides maximum exposure of the breasts.

Balconette bra is very similar to the demi cup but has just over half the coverage of the breasts and adds a sexier more luxurious look. The middle of the bra is slightly different in design to the half cup and appears not to be as straight across the breasts and the chest below, this helps to add shape to the bust line. ---> wear this when you know you're gonna get some

strapless - when you wear a stress that is duh strapless or has thin straps, no you can't wear those stupid clear bra straps, please don't do that. they look really stupid. strapless bra's don't always give you support

sports bra - wear this when you work out. Gravity will work against you no matter what your size is. You can be the old granny with her boobs down to her knees or the weird lady with tube socks for bewbies. Holds the girls in place while you're excersizing so you don't damage your bewbie tissue.

Full coverage bra - for those of us who need more coverage and support of our girls, and don't need any padding, just support.

I think you all know the bras out there, including that silicone one that you stick on and run around in, and is useable up to what 10x or something? chicken cutlets are also good. There's not a lot to push around but you gotta work with what you have. And likewise the other way, if you got a lot, just make sure the girls are happy and don't come out and say hi and give a free show.

Pursebuzz had mentioned about the Fredricks of Hollywood sale. I had a few bras by them which i don't really wear due to the obscene amount of padding it has. I'm like OMG this is pretty indecent. It felt like I got a poster size frame to go around a 8x10 picture. I feel like there's way too much padding going on there and it's really fake. But hey if that's what some girls are into then go ahead.

Though I will let you in on a little secret my guy friends have told me before. When they're out and about and see you, it really doesn't matter that you've got spanx on, or a push up water gel bra, or high heels, or hair extensions, fake eyelashes, or lip plumpers on. they kinda see past all that. They go yeah, so what if you have a water bra? you talked to me, and you came home with me and you're freaking hot! So ladies don't stress about the small stuff. well unless you have a fake leg then that kinda starts something weird.

I did try that weird liquid water bra VS had a while ago, I asked my friend who worked for them during college what the deal was. it won't freeze cause there's mineral oil or something in it, unless you purposely put it in a fridge and even then it takes a while. I think ppl liked it cause it was new and it moved or bounced when you moved. LOL

I'm still waiting for puberty to kick in, where are my bewbies? plz do't run around in public without a bra on. I knew this girl who did that, except she had the body of a 12 year old, literally, and it was kinda gross. Cause the guys DID NOT want to see it, and they all told each other how nasty it was, that it was black and hairy, she was asian! and her 45+ year old bf had a huge fetish, but that's beside the point...unless you're running for porn star of the year, plz cover up the girls. You need to have a frame around your picture! Otherwise the picture will wrinkle, roll, fade and get gross. So cmon you gotta take care of your lawn, and your picture.

FYI i use polyvore cause i'm too lazy to open up

5 stalkers:

MakeupByRenRen said...

so much to learn about bras! i like the VS bras without the wire much more comfy, i got them at the semi-annual sale too, he he...

ainstein said...

"I'm still waiting for puberty to kick in, where are my bewbies?" i feel ya on that!!! i need a lot of help when it comes to bra LOL
i am a 27 yr old stuck in a 12 yr olds body.... sadness!

xppinkx said...

my friend had that VS water bra...we went out for dinner and drinks and dancing...she got pissed drunk and all of a sudden it looks like her boobs were pissing...her whole shirt was wet with gloppy slippery mess...then she cried on how small her boobs were ...we just all sat around her and consoled her about the size of her breasts...she was screaming what do i have to do to get big boobs and yelps over to the nearest honkie and screams you wanna have babies...yup tequila and rum and cokes and exploding water bras dont mix

true story...

so for her birthday gift i gave her "take outs" and told her these dont piss all over you

im sucha good friend

xppinkx said...

eat cheese puffs they make you boobs grow bigger

SUGABUM said...

I hate bras! Well, I don't like wearing clothes in general because I don't like to feel constricted in any way. I usually wear loose dresses because of that. Bras, though, I only own wireless ones. Wires feel like shit! And although I have little boobies, padded bras feel so uncomfy, too! I only wear bras when I need to conceal my nips. I wish I had no nips!! Other times, I basically live in bra shelf tanks with other shirts layered on top. I'm so unwomanly. Two thumbs down for bras. Yuck!