emotion

taken from fellow blogger "Y" Sometimes I want to cry for every emotion I have. Sometimes I want this frustration to go away and the only way it seems to leave is if my body responds with a physical reaction of some sorts. sometimes i wish i could cry for every emotion i had. I wish sometimes i could shut them off and just deal with the world as a rational calm person. sometimes i wish that i could deal with the card that life dealt me, but honestly it just fucking sucks right now. I'm just tired overall. Maybe I should have been a manipulative, cunning liar, that way I could snag me a senior designer position. or how about a bumbling idiot that dresses like a slut to encourage pedophiles to snag a job cause the hiring manager was a dirty old man with a fetish. Sometimes I wish my emotions were shut off because it makes it easier to deal with things. Sometimes I wish I could deal with things better, that I wasn't so fucking frustrated all the time. It seems the more I try the more screwed up things get. I wasted my time making those ugly, "clean" boring websites as i never heard from them again. I'm tired of trying to fit into these cookie cutter molds. I'm tired of being a slave to the corporate dollar. I'm tired of all of this. I often wonder if I made the right choices in my life. if my emotions played a part, that made me choose something stupidly. I'm not perfect, nor do i pretend to be. i've made mistakes, sometimes repeatedly, sometimes i let bad people in bc my emotions tell me they're still good when i know they're not. bad ppl hurt me, they always do, it just takes some of them longer than others. sometimes i think i want them to hurt me, to remind me that there's something inside me still, even though i think it died long ago.

I want to cry for every fucking emotion i have, because right now I don't think I have any left.

2 stalkers:

MakeupByRenRen said...

i feel you on that sometimes "slave to corporate america" but we gotta keep our heads up...b/c we're still young you know...there's a lot ahead of us to look forward to...

MakeupByRenRen said...

i feel you on that sometimes "slave to corporate america" but we gotta keep our heads up...b/c we're still young you know...there's a lot ahead of us to look forward to...