so turkey day for me was filled with lots of drama. well isn't that just fun? Everyone needs more drama on top of more drama and the holidays and family on top of that. all this crap for a deep fried turkey, i swear it wasn't fun anymore. stupidness and the fact that people want to hear what THEY want to hear and not listen to you really pisses me off. Why am I even doing this? God didn't you just guilt me into it? WTF? Could you try to be I dunno just a little bit appreciative? I guess not. This is why I hate the holidays.


so this is the damn bird being injected. No it's not that happy.



this is the oil being heated up.

Ok so i'm trying to get to grandma's house, first of all which was a horrible idea to move it there, because A. Grannie's a vegetarian and doesn't exactly want all these dead animals being cooked or deep fried in her house. I can respect that, it's her house after all. B. my crazy aunt wants to cook...dear god...last time it was bad, i don't know what they did, but it came out bad, and the fact that my brother ate an entire chicken before he went there should have been a sign for me. And the fucking turkey fryer is at my mom's house. Moving all of that crap over is fucking annoying! And moving the propane tanks over? isn't that just like asking for it? But somehow my mom did bring everything over. Course they took the entire thing apart, screws, washes and bolts. WTF?! Why are you making this more difficult?! And yesterday while trying to get there, there is MASSIVE traffic and everyone is driving like a dumbass. geez i wonder why? Holiday dumbasses could be it. I call my brother who is too busy playing guitar hero to answer. My aunt calls me the one that can't cook and asks where I am. I'm like i'm stuck in traffic, apparently no one knows how to drive. there is this damn supermarket near grannie's house, and my aunt goes why did you go to the supermarket? OMFG! I SAID there was traffic, and we're trying to get PAST it, not go in it?! Selective hearing! WTF! Then when I get there, no parking of course, no don't move your cars out of the driveway or into the garage, no just leave it there. Then have the nerve to ask me why i just didn't walk. Yeah sure I'll just carry a 14 lb bird there. WTF?! Ungrateful!
Putting the fryer together was annoying. There was no light back there. There was NO lighter to light the fryer. omfg how do you not have one? course there was one, at my mom's house... yet another reason why we shouldn't have moved it. Remember kiddies just say no!
Everyone's a fucking critic and nagging about the turkey. shit. if you didn't take the whole fucking thing apart we wouldn't be here trying to put it together. nor in the dark, nor trying to light this thing with a damn chopstick. i swear my parents were trying to blow up the house.


smiles being fried

the temperature was dropping when we put stuff in, there wasn't enough pressure in the tank as we discovered when we had to switch tanks. My bro and my cousin were out there helping, meanwhile my punk ass cousin showed up later and brought in his then gf. Every year it's a different girl. They're pretty much the same type of girl, pretty, bubbly, airheaded, and kinda dim. Maybe borderline retarded at times. So this year this girl was kinda different. She wasn't as pretty as the others, and she was trying to be nice, which is weird. Not so airheaded but not that bright either. It was clear she knew she wasn't that pretty and was trying to compensate for it. She brought over an Entaman's pumpkin pie. Store bought hmmm.... My punk cousin gets into trouble a lot. we kid that when he's not around he may be in jail, even his own brother laughs. hee hee. course his brother my cousin works for google so he turned out ok.

So we all decided to deep fry other crap besides turkey and stuff. My bro got all excited and brought out stuff. Deep fried oreos were on the list, my bro made the batter himself, he even went to the 7-11 nearby to get selzter to make the batter fluffy.


my bro battering the oreo. My mom for some reason decided to buy red holiday ones to which everyone promptly freaked out about.


thanks mom!


so the inside of the deep fried oreo turns into a brownie like consistency and is damn good when eaten a few seconds after being taken out. however we learned that after it has cooled it will return to being an oreo, quite remarkable for an oreo to transform and then return to its original form. Kinda like a twinkie.


deep fried oreos and baby ruths. the baby ruths didn't come out as great as we had hoped. didn't get mushy enough...oh well....


lowering the bird into the fryer


uber bubbling


yes taking the bird out, its black!


my aunt molesting the bird

so now this is where we start to get really annoyed being that we fried a bunch of stuff, only ate a piece or two and then ppl upstairs who had already started eating ate the rest. The turkey is being cut up, and everyone just takes and grabs at it, the white meat of course which is the best part. We get like a piece or two, and then its' gone like WTF?! and then on top of that we had to let the turkey sit before cutting it, and everyone was like is it done? Can we cut it now? Can we eat it? We're waiting here. WTF?! Are you like helping? Are you doing anything to help besides nag and complain? NO! so stop being like this! I mean cmon! It's like you're being really selfish here! They basically ate all the white meat, and didn't leave us any, we had a piece or two. Then they had the fucking nerve to say oh well we're stuffed. you don't need a 2nd bird. WTF? YOU guys all ATE, while we were outside in the cold freezing watching over this bird, and dropping stuff into the fryer. Why don't you guys go elsewhere instead?! meanwhile my punk ass cousin goes why is it black? I'm not eating that. FINE! Don't eat it! No one asked you to! I seriously can't believe him, that's like uber rude. And then he actually had the nerve to say when he was rich he was going to hire someone to make turkey for him. Hmmm right, in order to be rich one needs money and not be a PUNK! His gf giggled a little, oh please, you're not gonna be here next year so don't get too happy now.


this is the 2nd turkey, yes WE needed to eat!


the turkey totally molested

Ok so besides the turkey we had a few other dishes. My aunt was making spiral ham in the show time rotisserie grill. And apparently they also blew a fuse in house too. Frying a turkey in the dark is great you know? Cause not only are you cold and smelling like peanut oil, but you're frying in the dark. But luckily the fryer runs on propane, which my aunt decided to smoke near.

My bro also decided to make some obscenely large mozzarella sticks. It tasted really good, very cheesy with egg batter and 4C seasoning.



spiral ham


petite fours i think


more dishes


my female cousin making sweet potato something, they ended up tasting like the peanut oil she fried them in.


alaskan king crab legs...yes they were quite large, but i don't know what my family did cause they ended up tasting really salty like the ocean


veggie dish


some spicy dish, didn't eat it


asparagus


white turkey meat


and the fruitcake! ewie! who let that in here?!

At the end I was tired, cold and frustrated to say the least. my family can be really unappreciative at times. sigh. but what can i do? Kill them all? I dunno. I was really frustrated at how they were all acting, in the end i ate my damn turkey and stuffed myself and i was happy, screw everyone else, except i didn't get no pumpkin pie, that is whack i say! I'm going out to get me some!

And don't get me started on how stupid ppl were today with the black friday sales. damn ppl get really dumb really fast.

One good thing was that my bro got guitar hero for his ps2. it was pretty fun. didn't get to play long though but it was fun. i guess i can just visit my bro more now. Meanwhile he's making turkey chili....

1 stalkers:

sophie aka 7 said...

awww sorrie u had a bad turkey day~~ but yeah guitar hero rocks~ my lil brother has that 2 lols